home of loving support for bereaved parents

Question of the Month

Am I still a mother even though I don't have living children?

Ann DouglasFrom Ann Douglas . . .

When someone experiences the death of a parent, we understand that the person who died will always be that person's parent, even though he or she is no longer living. I believe that the same thing applies when a child dies. Once you have been someone's parent, you will always be their parent, even if they are no longer living. The parent-child bond cannot be severed by anything, not even by death.

Your child will always be your child; and you will always be your child's mother.

Ann Douglas

Marilyn HeavilinFrom Marilyn Heavilin . . .

I believe motherhood is a frame of mind. If we have wanted children, we develop a mothering state of mind. If you have ever carried a child within you, for no matter how long, it seems a part of your being has been aroused and you have entered into the institution of motherhood. You begin to think of another's welfare and you begin to dream of that child's future. When a child dies, that mothering part of you does not die with your child. You will always think like a mother and you will always be a mother.

Much love,
Marilyn Heavilin

Sherokee IlseFrom Sherokee Ilse . . .

The ultimate sacrific any mother can make - to stand by helplessly while a child dies. And then to have to contemplate burying a child.

Yes, you are a mother. Period.

You loved and still love your child. There will always be a hole in your heart. The birthday, due date, and mother's day will never be the same. Don't let others talk you into believing anything else. This child can't be replaced by another and you - no one else- will always be his/her mother.


Additional Resources:


By Dezign