I am Stephanie Wright. I came to join this special club over 2 years ago. I became pregnant with twins in August 1994. We already had a 2 1/2 year old son named Trevor. When we told him there was a baby in mommy's tummy he said, "Did Mommy eat it?" Hubby explained in kid terms how the baby got there. I still don't know what he told him. We went to the doctor the next day (Trevor was with us). I measured too big and the doc did an ultrasound. To our surprise we were having twins. We were so excited and a little scared. I was in school, and he didn't make much money where he worked.
When I was 17 weeks, I had my 20 week ultrasound (a schedule error). The ultrasound tech found that one of the babies appeared to have a problem with her heart and internal organs. We were told not to worry and were sent to the hospital for a more sophisticated ultrasound. We were told at the hospital that one of the babies had HLHS (hypo-plastic left heart syndrome) and citis inversus (internal organs on wrong side of body - stomach on left, liver on right). At that time they suggested termination, and I got angry with the doctor. He said you won't carry them past 7 months. He told us that Baby B (heart baby) would die and poison Baby A.
I showed him. We went for ultrasounds every four weeks then every two weeks until they were born. I was put on bedrest at 24 weeks and Brethene and a monitoring service at 28 weeks. I was given an OB near the children's hospital in Atlanta. I was to deliver in Atlanta (2 hours away).
At 36 weeks and 2 days, I quit taking the Brethene on doctor's orders. Within 8 hours I was in labor. By the time we went to the hospital I was dilated to 7 and couldn't be transported to Atlanta. The helicopter was waiting for me. (By me not taking the chopper another child is living today.) Kristen and Kayleigh came into the world on Easter Sunday April 16, 1995 at 1:29 and 1:32 respectively. Kristen was as healthy as they said she would be. She weighed 6.3 lbs and was 19 1/2 inches long. Kayleigh did something they said I would never see her do - she cried a loud cry. It is a sound I will never forget. She looked so healthy to be so sick. She weighed 4.15 1/2 lbs and was 18 1/2 inches long.
She was transported immediately to Eggleston's Children's Hospital in Atlanta. I didn't see her again until Tuesday morning. On Wednesday she underwent the Norwood procedure after I got to hold her for the first time. I will never forget what I told her as they wheeled her away. "Mommy loves you and everything is going to be okay." For a long time I had guilt with those words.
She died after going into cardiac arrest four hours after surgery. She was four days old. She passed away the same day that Timothy McVeigh chose to take the lives of all those children and adults in Oklahoma City. I feel an attachment to the people who lost loved ones in that awful event. The trial is very tough on me as well as them.
I have so much to say. I felt guilty for the words I told her as I kissed her forehead. After a lot of soul searching and many groups such as this, I have come to a conclusion that I didn't lie to her as I thought. She is okay. She is more okay than she would be here in this world. She had a special job to do, and she did it. I have been through bouts with severe depression and suicidal thoughts. Through counseling and a loving husband, I made it through all of that.
I have decided to live my life now to the fullest. Kristen and Trevor need me. They need a mommy that shows love and kindness. I am that mom now. I still get upset and cry sometimes. It is not as frequent and it is different than before.
I am due September 3, 1998 with our fourth child. I pray daily that God allows Kayleigh to watch over this baby. I know she is here. I can feel her presence. She reminds me that God is my strength when I am not strong.
God bless you all who have to be in this special club!!
Friends through Angels,
Stephanie Wright
Mommy to: Trevor 1-22-92, Kristen 4/16/95, Kayleigh 4/16-19/95, Nathan 8/30/98